An old saying

Ya know how people say time flies when you've having fun? Well it works the other way around as well, cuz time slows down when you're in agonizing pain. I wanna say this is the last time i go without eating, but I'm not gonna follow that, I need to lose weight. I gained during Thanksgiving, about two lbs, now i need to go back down. If i lose more than two lbs, there's bonus points for me. Tasty gum doesn't ease the pain much, and I don't wanna keep getting more gum every time the current one runs out of flavor, I wouldn't have any left. If I try not to think about it too much, that should help.. If i try not to think at all... don't think.. don't breathe... sleep is the most effective way to relieve pain. Time goes by quick when I go to sleep. Heh, go to sleep is a song by eminem, but I don't think i should post the lyrics, as the little ones may get offended >.> Now then, back to getting off topic, the less i think about it, the less horrid the pain becomes.. God, my stomach is trying to digest itself >.<>Old sayings rock, don't they?

Heh, its funny.. The gum causes me to burp silently, but I'm really starving on the inside. Hehe... I'm gonna continue my illegal downloads of music now to distract me from the pain. Cya. If I have time today I'll post again, because I seriously need distractions for the pain. Laughter is the best medicine though, so i should go interrupt someone's working process and make me and them laugh and such. God, I can't wait til break comes and something happens to distract me. This really sucks... but I can handle it. I'll do my work at home.

I wish they would die

Stupid little kids are outside playing with a basketball, they hit the door by mistake, then laughed and hit again on purpose, and over and over again. I don't know if they know I'm the only one home, but if they do, may their souls perish in hell with mines.
They're causing a disturbance to my internet roaming time, and i hate them for it, their stupid giggly laughter, I pray to god (ironic) that they get run over by a car. Or ten. I'd do it myself, but no car is readily available. Grrr

Pending my Imminent Failure

Bioscience has 3 floors, right? I wonder if thats high enough.
In the days before my fail is revealed, I'm going to be very secretive, unsupportive, depressed, possibly angry, and with a look of deep thought. I'm also gonna repeatedly listen Across the Line by Linkin Park, Last Resort by Papa Roach, and When I'm Gone.

Across the Line, important parts:

In this desert
In darkness
Lying with the gun across his chest
Pretending
He's heartless
As the fire flashes in the sky
He was fragile
And frozen
When the bullet took away his friend
And now he's somehow
More broken

He's pulling his weapon to his side
Loading it full of his goodbyes
Holding an enemy across the line
He's pulling his weapon to his side
Loading it full of his goodbyes
Holding an enemy across the line

With every battle he's chosing
With every fight he's losing
His enemy's not far behind

You all know Last Resort, right? Cut my life into pieces? This is my last resort? Suffocation, no breathing, don't give a f- if i cut my arm breathing? It gives me many ideas.

When I'm Gone chorus:

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

And that's an order to you people. Not like you even have to Try to follow it, you'll all forget me naturally. Remember, friends are not forever. Life always ends in Death. Nothing human is worth living for (Made up)

Across the Line is the best song I've ever heard. He's holding a weapon to her side, loading it full of his goodbyes, holding an enemy across the line.

I dunno. I've just lost all hope for life.

Fail

I fail. Literally. I'm going to fail and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm going to get kicked out. I'm going to lose the respect of all my friends, and especially the little respect my father has for me. My future is also fail. I won't get accepted to any good college. I won't have a job that pays well. I won't get rich. I'll end up working at McDonalds for a living. That is to say, if I'm still alive.
All of my hopes and dreams revolve around getting a good job, getting money, and then doing other stuff. If I can't get a good job, then I can't get money, then I can't achieve ANY of my goals.
And that's just from an inemotional point of view. Emotionally speaking, if I fail, I'll probably have to drop out of BioSci. Leaving BioSci, I'll have to leave all my friends, every friend that I've ever, in any way connected with, all gone. Everyone I love... will be gone forever...
What exactly would be the point of living? There is none. Failing means death. I refuse to live if I'm going to end up at McDonalds. Sure they have great hamburgers, but I'm vegetarian! >.< Well, hell, if I'm gonna die anyways, why hold off from meat? No point to my life, then no point to being vegetarian anymore either.
Just need a method of doing it...